Saturday, January 12, 2013

Forever Changed

At this exact time, one year ago today, we were all in the ER waiting to hear how severe the accident really was. I remember waiting with everyone, being in the ER with Brad, the different thoughts going through my head, talking to Brad through the pain, ultimately... scared to death. I remember that night, spending it in the family waiting room on a chair, and constantly waking, not being able to fully turn my brain off with all of the new information from the day before. That Friday, the day of the surgery, was the longest day I can remember. It seemed to last all day with the prep, actual surgery, recovery, and then waiting to hear from the doctor. I still replay in my mind the time spend in the NSICU, wanting so bad for my best friend and partner to wake up. In the 11 years we had been together up to that point, we had never gone that long without talking and here I am completely aware of the tragedy that had occurred and Brad still sleeping, unaware. I remember when they called from the hospital that Brad was somewhat awake and asking for me... how fast mom and I drove to the hospital, me running through the halls getting there as quickly as I could. Brad waking up was joyful, terrifying, and extremely sad all at once. It seemed that there were many trials after waking up and each one brought a sense of, "I absolutely have no idea how we are going to do this and get through this." 2 months spent in rehab seemed horrible while going through it, and seem even more terrible having been home for some time now. Not being in your own bed, surrounded by things that are unfamiliar, will definitely wear on a person. A blood clot and hospitalization after only being home for a little over a week seemed to add insult to injury. What a whirlwind of events in such a short amount of time...

Now, we are a year out from the accident and things are still hard. Emotions aren't as raw as they were initially, but I can still cry and get extremely sad and discouraged at the mere thought of what we have gone through and continue to go through daily. People tell me what an inspiration Brad is, and while I'm glad others see this, they have no idea how true those words really are. Being so blessed to be with him every step of the way and share my life with such an amazing person I know to the fullest extent what an amazing person Brad is!

Some encouraging news, though, is we have recently reconnected with some friends we met in rehab. His injury is almost identical to Brad's which has helped us relate to them even more. He and his wife have triplets, which is such a fun and encouraging thought to consider! We have gotten together with them a few times over the past week and I had no idea how much I needed to be around someone who knows EXACTLY what we are faced with on daily basis. Talking with them has been so helpful and uplifting and we are forever grateful for them!

Brad is also looking into getting a hand cycle which would be so much fun to ride together and spend time outside of the house! Please be in prayer for this as we explore how to begin this process!

We are also extremely thankful for our family and friends that have been by our side since the beginning. Our family has pulled through and helped out in ways that we will never be able to fully comprehend or thank them for. I can't even begin to wrap my mind around all they have done and sacrificed to be a source of help and support through all of this. Thank you!
Our friends that call and check in on a regular basis have been so great, as well! With the passing of time it is easy to forget how traumatic this has been and our friends that continue to check in and ask how we are, you have no idea how much this means. Your thoughtfulness and generosity have not gone unnoticed and we thank God for you guys on a daily basis!

We are looking forward to a more peaceful and joyful 2013 and we pray that we can wait in patient expectation as God reveals His plans and timing for our lives...

Brad's most recent painting. This is what 70 hours of determination and hard work look like!