|So glad we traveled as much as we have!!! On our honeymoon! Puerta Vallarta, Mexico June 2008!|
|Italy, February 2009!|
|New York, June 2011!|
I have started reading a book by Jerry Bridges called Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts. This book has been such a source of comfort and inspiration during this time. He frequently asks the question, "Where is God in all of this?" Following this question, he provides scripture to show that God is completely sovereign in EVERYTHING! If He were not, there would be no basis in trusting Him in all situations. "Even when life seems to be going our way and our daily path seems pleasant and smooth, we do not know what the future holds... often it reveals events most unexpected and frequently most undesired. Such events, unfolding in ways contrary to our desires and expectations, frequently fill our hearts with anxiety, frustrations, heartache, and grief." This is exactly how I would describe life before and after the accident. He says at the beginning of the book that there is a, "twofold objective of God's providence: His own glory AND the good of His people." Not one or the other, but both. So, what we are experiencing will ultimately be for His glory AND our good.
I can understand that we can bring Him glory in how we are coping with our new situation, staying close to Him and seeking His will on a daily basis. But my new prayer is that He will slowly begin to reveal to us how this is for our good. This is very hard to understand and I'm pretty sure we will never, and were never intended to, completely understand God's working in and through us. After coming to this realization, though, I have been able to feel more at ease and not so anxious about everything.
The book also talks about how our plans are individual for us, no one else. They are not supposed to look like our friends or other family members. This is probably one of the hardest things to come to terms with. Where we thought we would be at this time in our life has completely been re-routed, and thats ok, just extremely hard. Our culture is full of comparisons and I have always had a hard time with this, fallen prey to this idea. BUT... God is working this out for His glory AND our good, and that makes it easier when handed over daily.
I have always felt that Brad and I don't seem like we are whatever age we are at the time. However, this situation has forced us to grow up and deal with difficult issues head-on. I told Brad the other day that my prayer is that none of this is in vain, that God would totally blow our mind with what He has in store for us. I don't want to miss a thing He has planned. I was always afraid to pray that God would use us in whatever way He needed. Now, our worst fears have become true life, so now there is no fear in that prayer! After I shared this with Brad he then said how he is realizing more and more how much worse it could have been. We have so much to be thankful for, and Brad is an amazing individual to say that many people who have experienced something similar wish they were a paraplegic so that they could still do so much for themselves. What an outlook!!
We are excited to see what God has planned because we know that His ways are higher than our ways, and his thoughts higher than ours (Isaiah 55:9).
On a totally different note, completely random... these videos have brought us many laughs this week...