Rise Up

Tomorrow marks the 5 year anniversary of when our lives were forever changed.

We woke up that morning like we always had. I remember exactly what Brad and I were both wearing. I remember giving him a hug and kiss goodbye. That would be my last stand-up hug from him. Something I absolutely took for granted until it was taken away.

My principal at the time and our school counselor came to my room to tell me Brad had been in an accident. My mom came to the school to pick me up and take me to the hospital, the longest ride I’ve ever experienced. We had no idea what to expect. I just remember being so sad for Brad that he had to ride in the ambulance to the hospital by himself. What was he thinking? How bad was it? How much pain was he feeling?

The entire hospital/rehab stay was like we were living in another world. The uncertainty of Brad’s health, not fully realizing how our lives were about to change, terrified every time a doctor came to talk to us.

We have come so far since then. We still have daily struggles: Brad’s daily chronic pain, we feel the challenges of paralysis, the heaviness and finality of an injury of this magnitude, only to name a few. We still feel too young to handle this; missed so much of a “normal” marriage before everything changed.

However, out of the ashes (Isaiah 61:3) have come beautiful things. We have grown stronger in our faith (although we still have days where we question God and feel that He is silent, to be honest), closer to one another, and have our sweet Caroline. We have both said that we would experience it all again, just for the chance to be Caroline’s parents. She is truly our shining light each and every day, and she turns 14 months tomorrow as well.

So today, I want to be sad… 5 years is a long time. We still need days and moments to let it sink in, to feel our loss. At the same time, I also want to have a confident expectation knowing how big our God really is. He is the Author, He sent His one and only Son to die for our sins because He loved us so much, and because of this we should have hope. He is in control and everything He orchestrates is for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwgr_IMeEgA

Please take a minute to watch this video, paying attention to the lyrics. Absolutely hits home. Brad doesn't need me in this way, but it still resonates with me. 

Rise Up

by. Andra Day

You're broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry-go-round
And you can't find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I'll rise up
I'll rise like the day
I'll rise up
I'll rise unafraid
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
And I'll rise up
High like the waves
I'll rise up
In spite of the ache
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
For you [4x]
When the silence isn't quiet
And it feels like it's getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we'll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
Bring it to its feet
And move mountains
And I'll rise up
I'll rise like the day
I'll rise up
I'll rise unafraid
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
For you [4x]
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
We will rise
We will rise
We'll rise, oh oh
We'll rise
I'll rise up
Rise like the day
I'll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we'll rise up
High like the waves
We'll rise up
In spite of the ache
We'll rise up
And we'll do it a thousand times again
For you oh oh oh oh oh [3x]

Caroline's 1st Birthday!

This baby is such a ham!

Our Christmas card!