Brad and Kristan: God Gave Us Two

After our 3^rd round of IVF didn’t work, we discussed with the doctor about using a donated embryo from another couple. He said he could do that, but we would need to look into options of finding agencies that matched couples for an embryo adoption. Through an agency we found a couple locally that had embryos they were wanting to donate and we were able to meet with them. We hit it off right from the start and began the legal process of this new adventure. Everything fell into place so easily we just knew it was a sign from God that this was the door He was opening. They had 3 embryos for us to use and the plan was to use 2 for the first transfer and then have the one to use at a later date. However, on transfer day we were told there was only one viable embryo. Devastated, as was our trend on transfer days in the past, we went in praying for the best. 10 days later we did a home test and it was negative. The next day an hCg blood test confirmed the transfer did not work.

To be totally honest, this was the lowest I have been in years. God seemed to open EVERY door with this new option only to appear to SLAM the door so quickly. We were so confused at these results. It just seemed that if God opens doors, His plan should be that things work out from that point. Definitely not the case…

After meeting with the doctor after this attempt, he learned that the clinic could use the donated frozen embryos they had in a bank from other couples who had successfully gotten pregnant from IVF. I asked him if he honestly thought this was a good decision or a naïve decision considering everything we had been through. He thought that up until this point the embryos we had created and/or used were not in ideal condition because of the spinal cord injury and because of having to survive a thaw from the donated embryo. He said if he were in the same situation he would try one more time. We took his advice.

Me wanting to be in control and ready to move forward, I didn’t want to waste any time before the next transfer. However, we learned there would be a funding opportunity for our transfer and we had to wait on the money to come through. This was such a blessing, but I was growing more impatient because the weeks passed and still no money. Why was God making us wait again? He was opening a door for the money but giving us yet another lesson in patience when 8 weeks passed.

Transfer day finally came, October 26^th, and yet again we got news from the lab about the embryos we were to use not looking viable after the thaw. We were told to wait at home another hour and a half and they would thaw another set for us to use. We made it to the clinic and one embryo looked great while the other was taking longer to thaw. We used both of these embryos and prayed fervently for the next 10 days…

11/5/17 (Sunday)

Today is Day 10… completely convinced that the transfer didn’t work last night. I let that realization sink in and we talked about next steps/what to think for over an hour. I cried, we got mad, wondering why we were led to do this yet again just to have it not work. When we woke up this morning we thought we just wanted to get the home test over with. We took the 1^st one and it said POSITIVE!!!! This is something we had waited so long to see that we didn’t know what to think! Then we took a 2^nd and 3^rd test, both saying POSITIVE! What is happening?? We called our parents, totally shaking and in shock! We took another test before bed that night and it said POSITIVE as well! This is crazy!!

11/6/17 (Monday)

Day 11… I went in to the doctor’s office at 8:00 for the official bloodwork test. We needed at least an hCG of 50 to be a strong positive. We got the call at 2:00 that afternoon and our number was 193.9! Absolutely can’t believe this! The doctor and nurse called Brad on speaker phone to tell him the good news! We had gotten so many negatives that I now wanted the doctors to call Brad, so he could tell me if it was bad news.

11/8/17 (Wednesday)

Day 13… Went in at 8:00 for 2^nd bloodwork test. The hCG number needed to double (at least 386). They called at 1:15… our number was 517! Oh my goodness! I still can’t fathom that this is really happening!

11/27/17 (Monday)

Today we are 7 weeks and 2 days. We had our 7 week ultrasound! We were able to hear and see a heartbeat! The baby is only the size of a blueberry but has lips, a tongue, brain, kidneys, heart, and arm and leg buds. It was so surreal to hear the heart beating. It still has not sunk in yet, our new reality! Still very cautious, while trying to be optimistic.

12/18/17 (Monday)

We had our 10 week check in with my regular OB-GYN. I read that there may be movement at this stage so we were excited to see what would happen. The baby was moving all over the place… from one side to the other! This definitely made everything real!

Over the Christmas break we were able to tell our extended families! Brad created a video explaining everything we have done and ended it with the heartbeat and baby movements.

Last week we told all of our church family, co-workers, and I told my students. Everyone has been nothing but excited and supportive, and since I’m already showing it just seems more real to everyone else.

(Back to present day)

We have had 2 check-ups with our doctor to hear the heartbeat and to ask any questions we may have. On Thursday, February 22^nd, we had our anatomy scan. Again, being able to see the four chambers of the heart, brain, lips, spine, feet, and hands was breathtaking. I made the comment to the doctor how amazing this was and how this is just not normal for us! What an amazing experience! It was hard but we don’t want to find out the sex of the baby! This is something we have always talked about doing! We love surprises and what better surprise to have on the baby’s birthday! Although we are realizing that our dream of seeing ourselves in a baby will not happen, we are thrilled at this chance to carry a baby and have this experience. We are also happy that being adopted is something the new baby and Caroline will have in common.

Knowing in our heart this will be our one chance experiencing pregnancy from the very beginning I feel we are taking it in and enjoying this time on a deeper level. Although we are sad that I tear up looking in the mirror at my growing tummy, feeling the baby move, and hearing the heartbeat. These milestones are just so surreal. I am also soaking up as much Caroline time as I can. Even though we are so excited about the new baby, it makes me sad on a level knowing that our time as a family of 3 is about to come to an end. The past 2 plus years have been an amazing adventure with her, but I know it will be fun for her to have a playmate! Such an exciting time in our lives!